My tiny tot, Trixie, is growing up. Halloween is her favorite holiday. She has been a witch 7 out of 10 years. This year she chose an alien costume. Not illegal. The kind that comes in a space ship. I begged her to be something pretty but she informed me she was like Tom B. and I couldn't make her into a sissy girl. So Halloween comes and the new neighbor, Winston, same age as Trix, invites her to trick or treat. Instantly my tomboy wants to wear my tiara and go as a girl. with lipstick. So, I just happen to have a tutu and some sparkle, so throw on some tights and a black tank, and she is a princess ballerina. And now she is asking me if I think she should marry Winston when she grows up.She tells me I have to accept that she isn't going to be little forever. She is going to have to grow up. What is strange is that I don't feel all that grown up, so how can she grow up.
When I think of grown ups, I think of Big Daddy and Teeny Mama and they are about 38. All grown ups to my memory were 38. So how is it that two months ago we celebrated Big Daddy's 80th birthday? When I think of him, he is the strongest man in the world. Family urban legend has a story where some cousins came out to the country for a visit. The boys, Big Daddy, Big Brother, and Baby Brother were down at the river, so the cousin was sent down to fetch them. He said when he got to the river, Big Brother was tying up the boat, Big Daddy was in hipwaders, carrying the motor, a bushel of oysters, and his Baby Brother on his back. Business as usual. The favorite pictures of them is from when they were grammar school boys. It must be summer because the three are lined up, barefeet and overalls, on a dirt road. Big Brother is first, Baby Brother is in the middle, and Big Daddy, the middle child and the tallest, is on the end. I love this picture, have it framed in my office. They are frozen in time.
For Big Daddy's birthday, I did a slide show of almost 300 pictures, gathered far and wide by my Carolina Cousins, all in secret for the big day. It was entitled "My Life So Far". I started with a picture of a beautiful oak tree on a bluff, overlooking the Cape Fear River. This is the place Big Daddy was born. It is still in the family and many of his paternal cousins live on the land. His maternal cousins have the same gifted situation at Gore Plantation. Three generations all together. For his grandchildren to see him as a little boy was fascinating. They all looked at the old pictures of his brothers and sisters and picked out who they all favored. The family resemblence is strong throughout. When Big Daddy grew up in the pictures and married the beautiful young woman who they know as Teeny Mama, the kids didn't like it.The picture of the newly married couple hugging on the couch sent them into a tizzie fit. "Where's me" "When do I get in the pictures". The idea that my sister and brother and I were ever children is just more than they can take. Fast forward to a white haired, handsome man, and that is Big Daddy. Still strong as an ox, a little worse for wear. And Teeny Mama, just as beautiful as ever. Especially with a big baby in her lap. Her favorite time and theirs as well.
My father's baby brother was my Uncle Glenn. He and my Aunt Mary had 3 sons and lived in Florida. . Big Daddy was in Vietnam or Africa, or somewhere on the other side of the world, and we got to go to the beach everyday when Uncle Glenn came.When they would come for a visit it was like a vacation for us. Now that I think of it, the trip was usually me and 4 or 5 boys, depending on who wasn't in trouble with Big Mama. But he always took me. None of that "only the boys" stuff that many in the family would pull on a girl. It was the best.
Ten years ago, Big Daddy and his remaining siblings all met at a beach house in Florida. Tom Berenger and I were the chaperones. It was hilarious to see them all back at about 38 . Sure the brothers all had white hair and the aunts all stayed stuck together, trying to get all the visiting possible.
Tom B and I headed out to a bar in Destin and listened to bands, met a most interesting couple, she with a tattoo (I had never, at that point,spoken to a tattooed women, to my knowledge) and he handsome in a bad boy kind of way. They asked to share our table on the crowded deck. Always one to get in people's business, I asked if they were married. He said no, he was a widower. So young, and a widower. What had happened. Turns out she was murdered. I asked if they caught the person or had a suspect. " They are look pretty heavy at me" was his reply. Tom B was at the bar so missed this part of the conversation. When we came back our new "friends/murder suspect" invited us out on his boat. Fortunately, I had a sick migraine on cue and we were out of there!
So we rented a pontoon boat and took the uncles out. They were so funny and happy to be with us. I remember getting ready to dive off the boat and Uncle Glenn told me "Honey, you sure do fill out your bathing suit a lot different then when you were a little youngun". With that, I went overboard. He shared with Tom B and my Uncle Julian " If the good Lord made anything better than a pretty woman, he kept it to himself". What a compliment.
As I told you a couple of months ago, we lost my dear Aunt Mary. She and Uncle Glenn were the perfect, devoted couple. Two peas in a pod. He was lost without her. When my cousin Mike called to tell me his daddy, my Uncle Glenn, my daddy's baby brother, had died of a broken heart , 2 months to the day of Aunt Mary's passing, it was the saddest feeling. I drove over to my parents to break the news. One of the only times in my life I have seen my father cry. As Trixie put it, we have lost Baby Brother. As Christians, we know he and Aunt Mary are in paradise. For those here on earth, we feel their loss. Old Daddy, my granddaddy, was an eternal pessimist. If you asked him how he was, his was reply was "I'm most across the river". Meaning he was in such poor shape he would soon pass over into eternity. He had this condition until he died, just months shy of 90.
I remain,
The Fabulous Ma'am