Quality time with my deer

I am taking a moment to check in readers, before I head up to the Hill Country with Tom B. My Beloved started talking about the need for us to get away. The oil well firefighting business is quiet right now, so Tom Berenger has free time and wants to spend quality time at Clear Creek Ranch. With The Fabulous Ma'am. Sounds romantic, doesn't it? This is the prettiest time of the year in the hills, bluebonnets in full bloom, temperatures mild. According to Tom B.  Serenity personified.

I begin packing the essential for the trip:moisturizer, sunscreen, incredible hat, stylish ranchwear. Then it happens. I notice TomB is also packing. 2 chainsaws, snakeboots, camo, and his ClearCreekRanch cap that has a light built into the bill. Clandestine calls to his ranch guru, The Captain begin. The Fabulous Ma'am is a quick study. I have seen this setup before. On the premise of "quality time", I have been tricked into thinking it meant quality time for me. Not so. Quality time for TomB and The Captain involves such incredibly fun things like moving tons of rocks with the tractor . Clearing brush and raggedy mesquite with the Husqvarna.Fixing fences, shooting snakes, and plowing are vacation events for this dynamic duo.

 Now I know you are thinking "Ma'am, the weather is beautiful and the flowers are blooming. It is the Hill Country after all." I thought the same until I contacted PatsyCline, (Mrs.Captain). PC informs me the temperature on April 8 was 95degrees. Since the entire state is in a drought, everything is dead. Except for the cedar which is in bloom. So much so that everything  is yellow with pollen and prescription strength Zyrtec is necessary just to drive through the ranch. One of the perks of the healthy blooming cedar is a condition not mentioned on the brochures that show the beauty of West Texas. Cedar Fever hits you rather quickly. You go from sneezing to watery eyes, to full blown killer-flu body aches and pains within about 15minutes. I need to remember to pack those little MichaelJackson masks. Luckily they are white and will work with all my outfits. I start amending my trousseau. Two pairs of sunglasses since my eyes will be too swollen to open in daylight. Two types of antihistamines, one to use and one for backup. Vicks Vaporub for my soon to be chapped nose. Carmex for my cracked but still full lips. Small personal fan to place 6 inches from my face since I need to ward off the feeling of suffocation. Long lens camera so I will be able to take pictures of Tom Berenger and the deer.

You thought deer season was over, right? Not when they are exotic Axis deer. Remember what Bambi looked like? Well Axis deer always keep their spots. And breed like rabbits. Eating the expensive feed The Captain buys for the white tail deer. So they can be hunted year round. Now you understand why Clear Creek Ranch is as close to nirvana as Tom B can get.

Men of habit, the Dynamic Duo return around 4pm and commence to mixing cocktails. At 5pm, the front field is flush with Axis who come loping up to the feeders. We toast to the good life as we listen to Marty Robbins music. The Captain is quick to remind us that Marty Robbins wrote the immortal "El Paso" while riding the highway that passes right in front of us.It really is pretty perfect.  Especially since the rule of the ranch is no hunting near the house. I  enjoy the beauty of these creatures without getting involved in the food chain heirarcy.

So at crack of dawn one day soon, I will embark on the springtime road trip to the Hill Country. My travel agenda has been altered to include a  stop in Fredericksburg, not has far west as CCR. . I want to sit outside under an umbrella and drink honey wine at one of the local vineyards. I'll delight at the blooming lavendar at the herbfarm, enjoy the brilliant contrast of the Indian Paintbrush against the waves of the Bluebonnets. These highways are a living tribute to Lady Bird Johnson's Keep America Beautiful, begun when we were children. So on this relaxing retreat we have to include a side trip to Luckenbach, a place suspended in time. For a while, we will be college students again, buying beer out of the back of the Luckenbach postoffice, listening to musicians who just show up, guitars and fiddles in hand, playing the music we grew up on. Back to the springtime of the 1970s. Unlike our last trip to Luckenbach, I WILL NOT be a contestant in the Armadillo Races. I will let my champion status at this sport stand.

God Bless Texas.

I remain,
The Fabulous Ma'am