Big Daddy came from a family of 5. He is the middle son, followed by two girls. Funny to see them all sitting on an antique looking car with their daddy. Pictures of Daddy and Oldest Uncle in their sailor uniforms with Big Mama, as they were about to leave for the Navy. In Big Daddy's graduating class of 14, nearly all the boys joined the service just as the Korean War was beginning. We learned the same was true for the next class as well. All were friends and many joined up together. We see the pictures and think they look like kids. They were kids. The military was a ticket to an education and a life off the farm.
Social networking usually gets on my nerves. What I see is kids with iphones, texting nonstop and never looking up while around their families. As children, our social networking was positioning yourself as close to the grownups as possible and then keeping your mouth shut so you could listen to their conversations. So much can be learned while pretending to be cuddled up asleep. That's when they talked about the realllllly interesting stuff. While I think social networking today is creating a generation who spend all their time not socializing with the people around them but texting to someone who must be super important, there are cases where it is a blessing.
Through social networking, a group was created called the Clamdigger Union. A tongue in cheek group comprised of the "old families" of the little NC town where my family has lived since the American Revolution. The Union came into our lives a few years ago by fluke. A picture of a highschool basketball team from 1949 was posted and the question was" can you identify these boys".
I received a message from one of my younger cousins that a picture of Big Daddy's team had been published and she identified him. Our interest was peaked. I looked at the page and started reading the question of the day page. That day's question was "what was your best memory of the movie theater". Mine was going with Big Mama to see Sleeping Beauty and her explaining to me why we couldn't sit in the balcony because it was for Colored People. My response caught the eye of one of the older cousins who had been my baby sitter. She made contact. We began to Social Network, locating all her brothers and sisters. Then she received a message from someone who had gone to school with my father all those years ago. Much to our amazement, he revealed that his birthmother was her grandmother's sister. He had been adopted but it was not spoken of in those days.
So from then on , we all began reading and contributing to the Union. Our very own social network. I was reunited with my best friend from 3 year old Sunday School. With my first crush from that same class. And with family I never knew I had.
For a big family, we have been very lucky. The greatgrandparents lived long and died in their sleep. My Big Mama and Old Daddy both lived into their late 80s and just slipped away. Only two tragedies touched us, to my memory. My Aunt Carol, young and beautiful, with two little kids, went into the hospital for elective surgery and never came out. How does someone die at 32? During the Vietnam war, we shared the agony of that time when our Cousin Kenny was killed. He was not 19. Losses that are mourned forever, but still, we have been lucky.
Now the parents are getting old, my Baby Boomer cousins and I are babies no more. We thought the "grownups" would be those young , laughing people, in Capri pants, and happy forever. Reality came a couple of weeks ago when, through social networking, prayers were asked for my Aunt Mary. A person universally described as the sweetest lady anyone could ever meet. She loved my Uncle Glenn like a teenage crush throughout 50plus years of marriage. Never a harsh word, only a smile that was so big it made her eyes nearly close. One of my cousins described her has being able to stay above the fray of the family crazies and always find time for a nap on the couch.
Soon daily phone calls to Florida began. And then I got the call that she had passed away. This dear sweet angel gone to heaven. All I could think of was her smiling , about to laugh. How we looked forward to seeing that Nova pull into the gate at Big Mama's. It meant endless fun. The boys flew out of the car and we knew it was only minutes before we would be headed to the beach. With Big Daddy in Vietnam, we only went to the beach when the Uncles came to visit. A memory I will never forget.
So, today I sit in my playroom. All quiet, with Tom Berenger 75 miles offshore and Tiny Tot visiting with her grandmother, Mama Mia. I think of my sweet aunts who provided so much love and laughter. They were blessings to all who knew them. I cherish their memory and encourage others to connect with family. In the end, it is from where our comfort comes.
God Bless Aunt Mary and Aunt Carol, til we meet again.
I remain,
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