Christmas Decorating

In this time of economic hardship, recession, and down right upset,  it is more important than ever to decorate for Christmas. Yes, Christmas. Not Happy Holidays, Happy Winter Festival, or whatever politically correct phrase is being used to substitute for our celebration of the birth of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Christmas is the most popular time of the year for those of us that want to go hog wild with creativity and excitement to delight our families, friends, but most of all ourselves.  I, personally, have decorated 6 trees and tied so many of my Signature 8loop,French-wired,  bows, that my mani is a wreck and I am having to soak in Twenty Mule Team Borax just to get my cuticles to simmer down.
Let me establish right off the bat, that I am into Tasteful Extreme. Due to movies such as National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, people have gotten the wrong idea on outdoor illumination. My next door neighbor, for instance, is the living incarnation of Clark Griswald. This year he has dragged out every bit of tackiness he was able to purchase at 75% off last year and proceeded to randomly scatter it across his front lawn. Now this is the same person who would not mow his grass because his daddy was layed up after the hip replacement. Daddy usually is his yard man and general fixit man (don't get me started on the shotgun house they erected in the backyard that caused me to have to build an addition onto my home so I wouldn't see it. That is a different rant) so until the Titanium hip heals, this fool just lets everything go unattended. Except for the Christmas debacle. I'm all for the concept of MORE IS MORE. But it must have a theme and be of quality, character, and charisma. Let me just start with the inflatable trees and penguins that are not tied down. When the blue Northern blows in, this mess is floating in my yard completely untethered! Now,however, he has a row of lighted flat trees that when lit, glow in the dark and have a frighting resemblance to male reproductive organs marching and pulsating across my property line. The free flying penquins have become impaled on the flashing phallus so now they ( the penguins) are lying limply on the untrimmed hedge.
"Clark" has the prerequist wooden reindeer that the naughty neighborhood youths continue to arrange in mating stances so every morning I must hide the eyes of my tot less she point out AGAIN that the reindeer is giving his friend a ride. Along with the reindeer comes the blasphemous Santa over the Baby Jesus in the manger. YOU JUST CANNOT MIX THESE TWO. Either you are doing religious or Santa. Never both. Read the Bible and you will clearly see that Santa is not listed as a guest at the nativity.  I realize this theme does show a respectful Santa sans hat as he prays at baby Jesus, but it is just WRONG. That's all I have to say about that.
The collection of dross now numbers nearly 20 pieces of plywood and plastic.Last night was the premier of the giant rotating snowglobe that is supposed to display gingerbread men. Problem here is the heat in the attic probably hit 150degrees this summer, so the plastic "glass" is now opaque. His multi-colored lights adorn the front door light fixture that is hanging by a wire (again, waiting for Dad and The Hip). You would think he could have grabbed some green extension cords at 5am on the day after Christmas Sale but No! Orange bigboy extention cords snake all over the place, augmented by indoor drop cords where needed. I keep thinking the entire nightmare will go up in flames due to one spark but I fear this is wishful thinking.